THE FACE OF HOME FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT.

 

The face of home

Financial Management.

Author ;

BITSWAMBA ASIIMWE PETER.

30^th October,2013

Forward

By Fr Expedito Masereka,

Pastoral Coordinator, Bishop’s Chancellor and In Charge Peace and Justice- Kasese Catholic Diocese.

Dear Readers, I am happy to present to you this book titled ‘The Face of a Home Financial Management” I do appreciate the efforts the writer has put in especially the deep biblical exposition about the use and Management of the riches of this world. Passing through this book, I can see a lot of the writer put in, in explaining that a home is made of a man, woman and children whom God has created equally in his own image. We should, therefore, appreciate each other and give each other opportunity to enjoy the riches of this world equally.

If a family can share the riches they have, like, time, money, presence, faith, I do support the members would live a relatively happy life.

The author of this book, of course, is writing as a believer in God and more so a Christian. Hence he believes that as families or couples live together, they should recognize the presence of God amidst themselves, put Him in the middle of their “family planning”.

I do recommend this book very highly to the couples and to those intending to marry and to the marriage counselors to use it as a tool in endeavoring to curtail and forearm the problems that would accrue from poor financial management in a home. This book positively understood would indeed reduce domestic violence where the couple, their children and their neighbours and indeed the entire surrounding are physically, emotionally, religiously, culturally and psychologically affected, the reverse would be true through this well-thought book.

                                                                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Preface;

                                                                                                                                                                            

Introduction.

The financial management and its effectiveness in families, its effect may be long term, short term or micro. With micro the other partner looks the way things are done haphazardly and no action is taken-takes the les affaires, situation- I don’t mind.

As couples, it’s important for you to show that you can add value by the contributions you make about money management in a home, a contribution does not only include capital but harnessing fresh ideals are also important as well. You will build relationships faster if your focus perspective is not only on yourself but on the entire family. Do not stick your head in the sand evading the human home money management affairs will bring sorrow and trouble beyond what you can even humanly imagine.

A family is lifetime God given gift of nature, has to stay and withstand all calamities, here comes money element, manmade unit which measures wealth and riches that has become part of family. Instead of enhancing the family to stay, it has ended in being the catalyst for family breakages. Through the simple book we will understand how to go about it, in case you’re in its web trap or assist a pal swimming in deep problems of finances at home. Though you’re not a culprit- it is a clue.

                                                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                                                                       

Dedication;

To my family members, our family and relatives whose hands I have passed through and especially Fr Expedito Masereka who gave the forward of the book, and all those whose hands have thumb prints on my life.

   Table of contents

           

Chapter	contents	Page
One	Home and Finances	7
Two	God’s word on home/family in relation to home finances	13
Three	Accounting principles in relation to home finances	17
Four	Philosophical writings	19
Five	Cultures’ role	22
Six	Different Kinds of Love mentioned in the Bible, lessons therein	24
Seven	What does the law say	26
Eight	What we can learn from other writers .	25
Nine	Resolving family conflict, where money is in the centre	28
	Author	39

                                         

                                                                                                                                                                       

Chapter one

Home and finances.

Home may mean structures with people staying in it; it does not necessarily mean expensive houses to constitute a home, whichever a home as at it is. As at that condition.

Homes may be built in mind like having your partner far from you and whichever you do you think about him/her, the ideas and decisions plus the well fare of the children are core in the brain. Distance does not play any role when you want to achieve the goal of home financial tract and discipline. When building a home a good foundation is needed to enable it stand a taste of time and be a role model; for other(s) generation and cater for the dignity of the family members remaining and those that have rested.

The foundation stones will have different mixtures to bring the bond for the home to be firm. Then amongst them will involve the financial discipline to cater for all home requirements, noting each members demands and preferences in line with the family’s agreed short and long term plans.

A home is a very vital life asset that may exist as tangible and intangible, then one is measured first with the capability of keeping a home. Like if you want to contest for any public small/big post involving adult suffrage, your home back ground is investigated; does he/she have a home? If so is it stable? If it failed why then be given responsibility? Now  on what home back bone / back ground shall we have him/her as our leader?

Therefore, home management is very important and finance being at the centre of every home decision, it is by default that we cater for it with a big margin in all our actions. Once finance management in a home fails, then other developments may never come to reality or may fail. In Newspeak, 1984 by George Orwell wrote ‘ doublethink’- accepting of two mutually contradicting statements as correct; whichever the answer is, you take it for the better of the home management. In the Norwegian National anthem, first stanza “Yes, we love this country as it rises forth, rugged, weathered, above the sea with those thousand homes. Loving, loving it and thinking about our father and mother and the saga night that sends dreams to our earth. And the saga night that sends, sends dreams to our earth. The anthem puts the home in the midst of the readers, therefore the need to manage the home is very important, this makes all take count of homes through all means to manage it including finances.

A home is made of man, woman, sons and daughters, housemaids plus dependants. Home is also a homestead. There have always been problems arising out of financial administration and management altogether in families whether extended or not.

Most families have lived on the edge of ending, others have ended. This brings a two, fold scenario of;

1-      Intention to divorce, where the couples are always at par in need to divorce any time.

2-      Divorced minds; where the couples persist all the financial problems and stay together due to the state he/she may not leave the children, or the family forces, family forcing them to stay together. Due to religion, customs that bars remarrying, or else financial constraints to stay alone for a woman and a man to fail to meet bride price for another partner.

In certain extend couples earn income in various ways and the homes get the following characteristics-

There are homes where;

Ø  The husband and wife are both working- working class

Ø  There is the man is earning/ working and the wife is not-

Ø  The wife is earning/working but the husband is not

Ø  Both man and husband are not employed in gain full employment but surviving- farmers/peasants

But whether working with Government, non Government or self employed, financial element takes a core status since goods and services have to be catered for in monetary terms. Though barter trade is also minimal then family consensus is needed in the family. Money has been the cost of unit and value of wealth which is the back bone of the family. A family may be famous depending on the wealth it has accumulated over the years, how it was used wisely is the fortune that remains at the back of the brain of people whom reckon the family roots.

The working class-family, have tried to solve the financial problems by opening joint Bank Accounts, but all together the family financial problems have been unsettled to a big percentage even making it more badly than ever thought before.

 Where one partner is employed, the other party has been bringing home the monthly pay, but contention a bit rises whether the catch has been sufficiently brought to use as per family requirements.

Even the self employed, and engaged in subsistence farming, the produce has not been easily allotted to the home affairs by both parties disparities have been arising here and there.

Why have there been financial problems in families/homes despite of one’s pay and earnings, this remains crossword puzzle to understand fully depending on one’s Intelligence Quotient.

Most partners have failed to disclose wholly or partially their funds for both administering due to some reasons;

Others argue it like this;

(a)    Background;  most people are born in extended families, therefore after earning some money, she/he must meet domestic affairs back home and disclosing all the hard earnings could stir accountability problems in the home to some extent. Others are from moderate rich families, and there are specific standards, he/she must meet and therefore only net pay will be disclosed to the home after meeting those luxury commitments from the gross earnings.

(b)   Friendship; most partners value friends very much like gold. Most successful people have got and enjoyed considerable moral, spiritual and financial support from their friends. Others regard that Its quite embarrassing to always get advice from partners to how much and extend one could lend her/his friend considering writing off other debts, yet one may not know the role played by each friend in one’s life.  Giving out a donation to such friend, might sound unusual to your partner. Even lending a pal may fail to pay back- this will make the other partner raise his/her brow.

(c)    Extended family; one partner may be having an extended family which bases solely on him/her where all necessaries of life is part and partial of his/her obligation to fulfill as a cordial duty. It has been difficult to disclose the month’s sweat pay since all partners will not share the same Ideology.

(d)   Personal belief; most partners believe there is no need to disclose the financial matters to his/her family. This may be- to enable him/her attain financial muscle power over his/her demands,-that finances are to be a secret.

(e)   Cultural; some cultures have no provision for financial sharing and management in homes. The receiver remains solely with powers to spend and disburse.

(f)     Religious norms; some religions have no attempt in any way to enable the subjects have financial administrative structure to be in homes, in other words , the religion is not force full or have provision.

What would home financial management mean?

Too many, whether funds, are from civil silver plate, hard earning, scratch, and loans. It needs same management despite of the amount. When money is on Bank account, at home cash box, the family that is husband, wife, son and maid are to come to consensus – meeting of mind, such that all parties’ requirements are catered for.

Financial discipline would mean meeting family costs that are beneficial to all at an agreed appropriate time, without opportunity cost.

         

    What are parties involved and why?

In another extend, will call them stakeholders who influence the family finances both internally and externally and whose action is demanding in control and guiding.

1-      Husband and Wife; these are the steering arm of the family/home, where there are diverged interests; most of the plans may go beyond fulfillment since both are involved for now and the future.

2-      Sons (girls and boys); some projects may be delegated to the sons thus spirit de coup is necessary. If the projects are not meeting the desire/will of the sons, then the repay back period will be long. Utilities may be bought for the family and yet they don’t meet the hobbies of the sons, the items will depreciate without meeting value for money, since they are dictated to the family.

3-      Dependants; most dependants affect the family budget through providing necessaries of life. Therefore their contribution in the home financial management is equally important.

 Here you may meet say a short course/training or apprenticeship for a dependant yet it was not his/her wish, it will not be fruitful in the life of the recipient and lead to money wastage.

4-      Maids; items are dictated to maids. They determine a lot in palaces and homes, they acquitted with different behaviors and culture of family members. Even a king is approached by a maid, they are part of the family, therefore when they change color it affects the vision of the viewer during encoding. Their participation is very important to save life and money wastage.

5-      Public; the way one spends his/her money one way the other affects the public, say if one earns a substantial amount of money, but the family feeds badly or the children are not dressing well and are in bad schools, the public will have a comment which is either  positive or negative that has impact on you.

We can choose how we will react and what we will do on the financial home management for the good of the family. Every one experiences unfairness in life. The principle to remember is that how we react and act to unfair treatment is more vital on what has happened and the residual consequences affects the family, therefore financial management at home level is crucial and a step forward.

Responding to unjust situations or actions in anger, bitterness and revenge is not merely the answer rather trusting each partner and faith will bring peace of mind and soul, enjoy happy financial managed home with Gods guidance.

If our nature is to feel distressed and offended, then turning angry is not the solution, family home in fight due to financial accountability is a social evil, we should be risk- averse, risk voiding. In the novel by Ngungi ‘ -Akong was not only famous but had personal achievements’  the perimeter of an achiever are diverse, so financial behavior for better home is important.

Home is not like a kingdom, where there is a king and queen, thus subjects that give allegiance to the king, at home all are participants at managerial level to focus for the entire homes’ vision, mission, plans and strategic areas.

Brief Matters to ponder in marriage;

1-      Lack of knowledge, before marriage, know why you want to get married, fell in love, this is not good enough reason. If the characters are corrupt you will fall quicker out of love. Advice is seeking success in marriage through partnering as one. If one is disappointed then the faithfulness and friendship are most needed.

2-      Unwise expectations. The husband may feel he is in marriage to get full assistance from the wife and the wife may think vice versa which a wrong opinion. Commitment and dedication is vital for the couples to be able to handle finances of the family.

3-      Head of family; the husband remains the head but this does not guarantee him to act with authoritative powers in all family matters, one need to act the listenership and action point of degrees.

4-      Support, no one is entitled to support which partner, the couples are supposed to share the financial, spiritual knowledge as God provides.

5-      Faithfulness; remain faithful in all matters; confound the companionship in every financial step done in the family now and tomorrow.

6-      Oldness; age is gold- therefore it is not the time to look for another younger partner to satisfy your financial passion when the other partner has a negative response to worldly things.

7-      Silence, as in law ‘silence does not amount to acceptance’ here in marriage its different, best comfortable space is silence. Watch and observe the sky with its diverse and immerse space, its silent, no matter how much you have gained does not warrant you to disobey this unique act of silence. And when one sins against the partner the repentance and forgiveness is paramount and support where possible in counseling.

Self-fulfilling prophecies….

You see many people in society end up creating a life for themselves that is really a self-fulfilling prophecy of their mindset – of their core beliefs and thoughts about themselves over the years. Perhaps you recognize some of these statements that easily become self-fulfilling prophecies:

“I can’t do this.”                                                                                                    

“Oh that’s easy for you, but I could never do that.”

“I’m never going to get a great man or a great woman.”

“I’m too stupid to make a lot of money.”

“I don’t have what it takes to become a successful person.”

• “I’m afraid to try because I might fail.” Therefore, there is no need to be a sophisticated scientist with much philosophical grounds to manage home finances, need to match steps and encouragement if others excel why not you. Work for rewards and results in any activity, this will help you achieve all your plans including those of home finance management.

Having a home does not mean sky scrapers, even our great grand fathers lived in caves but managed to control family affairs including the finances (though it was shells) which you cannot go without mentioning it in our daily vocabulary.

Chapter two

God’s word; on home/family in relation to finance.

In God’s word most emphasis in on man staying with woman, making an enjoyable home more like a paradise on earth. Couples are friends; friends are flowers in the garden of life. Lord, gives us ears to hear advice from loved ones’ wise and humble advices relating to any matter whether financial, so when life’s challenges appear, we will not to stumble but have willingness to accept help on contentious matters and contemplate. Eagerness to listen ; as another tool that assists the dialogue process.

The Bible mentions Abraham as righteous man ever in the old Testament, who was very rich in live stock, silver, and in gold (Genesis 13:2) and God blessed all descendants of all nations of the earth through him in a promise will be blessed(Genesis 18;18). We are inclusive of the blessing that is why we have and long for money.

God is the originator of financial blessings and reminds us that personal diligence can lead us to wealth accumulation (Proverbs 10; 22, 10; 4- 1 Samuel 2; 7).

Savings; God advocates for saving for now and the future, when we have more money than we need for normal expenses, we are wise to save some for later use. The Bible talks of the saver noting the ant wisely stores up food for the winter (Proverbs 6:6-11). Further blamed a man who was given money by his/her master who went for journey and dug a hole and kept the money there, it did not earn any saving but it depreciated by inflation, and a  coin today is better than a coin tomorrow. So saving brings in the consent of family participation but not isolation. Though you work much without saving is like writing on water. Even the prodigal son took his wealth and wasted it, he did not save, the end result was pain and grief in his life until God touched his mind to come back to the parent.

Inheritance; a good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous’ (Proverbs 13:22). When no finances left for the grand children the couple shall be blamed not an individual, meaning home finance management is contributory responsibility.

Understanding the book of Genesis 11:1-9, the story of the great construction of Babylon; “And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech. And it came to pass, as they journeyed from East, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there. And they said one to another, go to, let us make brick and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they mortar. And they said go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto Heaven; and let us make a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.

 And the Lord came down to see the city and tower, which the Children of men build. And the Lord said, behold, the people is one and they have one language, and this they begin to do, and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that may not understand one another speech. So the Lord scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all earth; and they left off building the city.

Therefore is the name of it called Babel because the Lord did there confound languages of all the earth, and from thence did the Lord scatter them abroad upon the face of the earth.

As per the Biblical story above; work was done all together- that is bringing all resources to the general pool. But when each started taking his/her language the construction was halted. This is like a home/family when it starts confining their resources to oneself, then the family progress will not occur like the different languages that distorted the whole work.

Simply a family should bring to table all their earnings, budget for them together giving each one a chance to bring priorities without undermining one on the economy of scale. Other than each one is making development as per his/her wish so long as it’s tangible.

God said man shall leave his parents and make a home with a wife dedicatedly without looking back for the better of the home.

God always wants us to pray to him, He wants to be our friend in good times and bad times, he always hears us and will answer our prayers/requests, will do wonderful things for us when we ask him, help in troubles and give peace of in our minds.

In Ephessians:5;33- let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself, on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for husband.

In Genesis;11 records great facts – The building of Babel and the call of Abraham, in these verses we see man’s effort to provide his own way to heaven and God’s provision which is revealed through faith alone. We need to be faithful in all matters including finances for better family relationship since money compromises decision making.

Oh Allah, the Rabbi of mankind! Heal those they are serving for you are the healer. There is no cure except through you. ‘And you Lord says call on me, I will answer you’ (Surat Gahfir 40:60). Whether money problems, whichever request- Allah will answer.

So do not weaken and do not grieve, for you will indeed be superior if you are truly believers (Al-Quran 3:139). Let not financial worries affect your faith, believe and solve.

In The Shariah, vol 2 no 3, Your Link to Islam- Publication, wrote four steps to make a home into Jannah (literally meaning a paradise- self contained place);-

“TIME: spend time with one another instead of with the Television. One of the most common complaints from wives is that they are neglected. The husband is more concerned with his friends and his sports, computer and cell phones etc. this naturally annoys the wife.

SPENDING: in Hadith(Story) it is mentioned that spending on one’s family is also a form of Sadaqah (truth/giving out). Spending should be in moderation. Miserliness breeds contempt.

RESPECT; do not demean one another. Allah ta`ala (Almighty God) says that we should appreciate advices. By remaining silent when provoked for sake of Allah, one will sooner or later bear fruits of Sabr (patience). No one is faultless. Patience and tolerance are great Sunnats (good characters).

PROTECT AND SERVE: protect the wife from stress and oppression especially from her in-laws. First her father was her protector, now it is you the husband. First it was his mother who used to be concerned about his welfare, now it is you, the wife. The best service that one can be to the other is to motivate and encourage one another in Allah’s obedience and preparation for the Aakhirah (heaven)”. Therefore, need have time to share home affairs together; putting financial matters ahead, it should not be one persons show. Expenditure should be on the family, we will note that sieving friends who are extravagant is crucial and have no time for their families since stress can attack your family and its side effects take long to heal.

Philip Melanchthon advisor Martin Luther the great during the Reformation did say “In essentials, unity; in non essentials, liberty, in all things charity. We need to give priority in finances for essentials in our life and always ask some guiding questions before meeting expenditure;

         I.            Will this expenditure benefit my entire family or is it by impulse, so if Mr. Balihi has bought it do I need to buy it!, is the purchase healthy?

       II.            Is this the time to buy this item, if there are other essentials like fees, medical bills and pending sundry credits incurred while you’re away?

     III.            If have met the expenses and are on me alone, have my family benefited and what is the impact of expenditure to the rest of the people under my care, am I not cheating on myself?

     IV.            If the product is a must buy, does the family have consent on the mode, product not to have it as a white elephant at home.

       V.            Price variations, does the purchase have cash discount, or the retailer normally give me credit whenever am cash strapped?

     VI.            During the purchase is the retailer pal to couples to maintain relationship for further credit when due?

Its amicably not good to keep your partner in steam bath all along the rest of your marriage life due to financial misconduct, playing monkey tricks that you normally meet classified expenditure, with whom did you approve the classification… No need to exercise the pride of our power.

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though sins be scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they be as wool” we therefore need to wash our problems before each other including the financial ones before each other and the Lord.

Our hearts must be upright, if we are to rejoice in Him, if we are not upright with Him or our fellow man, our conscience will not allow us to be at ease before Him. Instead of rejoicing we shrink back from his presence until we correct what is wrong.

 One reason why so many Christians are dissatisfied is because they have allowed things to come between them and the Lord or someone else, and are not ready to put it upright. Things allowed have been bad companion, money mismanagement.

To be happy in the Lord you must be upright before Him. Let nothing come between your soul and Him. If something does come in, go to Him at once and get it settled. How lovingly He will receive you. He knows you can only be happy in Him, He wants nothing to hinder.

If our joy is not full it is because we have allowed ourselves to become taken up with our circumstances instead of with our Lord who is above our circumstances and ever looking down to take care of us. Learning the great secret that true joy and contentment are found in harmonious living and in God only but not in quarrels and violence.

Marriage is God’s idea from the beginning, it’s appropriate to see what else, marriage occurs when man is joined to the wife this creates linkage and requires cooperation and unity in marriage affairs, but no to isolate one another.

More as the husband is the leader in relationship, small and bigger matters the Lord supersedes all arbitrations. A man as leader, has cooperative relationship, he consults and listens to the views and desires of the wife and meets her needs through their planning process. The man as a benevolent leader acts in interest of the wife, children and gives part of his responsibility to the other party.

As a wise, prayerful and caring leader in physical activities like home financial management and spiritual matters- no need for shying away or seek to dictate managerial skills to the home. Marriage is a commitment of giving ourselves to our spouses. It’s a team work, symbiotic response where each other depend on one another. It’s not parasitic means where one feeds on the other than benefiting from the other party. Marriage is a long journey which needs care and responsibility, carrying food packages for the body and mind to keep the trek and flame burning. Ask for mercy, God wants us to approach Him in prayer constantly, be merciful. God wants us to receive His mercy and let it flow through us to others. Completely trust in God/Allah/Yahweh wants us to know that the graces of his mercy are dependent upon our trust

  All the many writings whether based on Bible or Quran- advises family to be in harmony and                          the finance factor remains a facet in family stability.

We must teach our children clearly what is right and what is wrong, live before them an example- Godly, righteous, pure and strong (Fitzhugh). In Deuteronomy 6:1-9; you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up. Paul’s letter to Galatians- there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. This means we need to walk the talk, be exemplary and meeting on home matters the Bible advises whether on road walk, in house or resting during leisure time, no excuse to say am busy to manage your home.

Chapter three

Accounting principles in relation to home finances.

According to the Generally Accepted Accounting principles, Accounting Professional Standards, the business` transactions should be kept different from the personal transactions which are not part of the business. Any stock, cash got from business shall be treated as drawings against the capital. When families operate businesses the books of accounts shall separate them from the business.

As the end of the product, books of Accounts shall be prepared at each period to ascertain whether there has been profit/loss at the end of operating period in the statement of affairs or there has been surplus/deficit- (non profit). For farmers after the harvest, the produce shall be accounted for after deducting possible charges that led to the yield.

It’s here that the partner shall bring the profit to the family and share in the plans for the home affairs by declaring how much the business will contribute towards home development. Very vital that the family shares and solely contribute in the planning process and cycle by being open to each other.

This principle doest mention the partner in a family as a different entity, it affects business transactions only meaning that the family should be aware of what remained in the business as profits/loss, if there were losses/deficit the family should be kept abreast. In case of harvest of produce, the quantity for sale and keeping in the family ban should too be opinion of both partners’.

Budgets should be used as tools to assist the family in managing finances; it may not necessarily mean written budgets. The family can agree by consent that this month/year after salary/harvest shall buy say a plot or pay fees. Then this can guide the couples to review the income if their anticipation is not met.

Money is a very sensitive subject for most partners, even more so if one of you makes significantly more than the other, as it leads to insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. Conflicts usually come up when there is a lot more spending than there is substantial gains, whether windfall or established, here bills just accumulate and are un settled, either prolonged financial support to the family, where one partner takes the duty and burden of financial support for specific obligations within or outside the home.

A home management should be like a value chain addition, meaning each month, year there should be adopted changes that has occurred due to fulfilled decisions, like when a product is produced and value added it never remains the same. Thus call for adopting value in all we make, have value for money in all home transactions.

Money is only money and its money can easily make more or save it, it’s a collective will for couple to manage it. Live within your means, make programs that subsidize expenses and increase income to enable both partners to settle family obligations. When you have money problems – face it head-on collision as couples, support each other by empowering yourselves financially by being more productive encourages oneself to be better at managing finances at home. Home is like a computer set, you need to install softwares that will protect it from viruses and firewalls against hackers and other malwares. In a home your control on management affairs is crucial such that violence, privacy is kept in darkness for the rest of the time.

The family business may not be yielding profits and no losses but forces will make you remain in the business to enable you keep on business truck as you forge the way forward, the partners need to know the circumstance of such business entity and involved in the decision to abandon, change the business or sale off as its effects are on the family existence.

The couples in all their financial planning for a home; they need to be simple in actions such that their major goal can be attained. If the goal is complicated and not attainable then the couple will be driving the train off the rails. The financial plans should be measurable, both should put together their ideas and have a time frame, cost the items the home needs for certain period be it month, quarter or year- having specific time frame. And how they will meet them putting in the provision of reviewing where they did not meet certain items. In the expenditure where the budget is tight one can meet variable costs first like fees, basic needs, sundry debts and pay later the fixed costs say rent, here couples negotiate with the land lord to extend the tenancy agreement due payment date other than having children at home and with empty stomach, wives be delegated to pay fees for children at school and encounter the fixed costs that encroach the budget line during school period to clear suspicion. If this is done by both couples, there will be no problems arising to how the funds are being spent.

 In cattle keeping, the secret of trailing a herd of cattle is never to let your herd know that is there are being driven, rather let them do everything willingly and voluntarily, but always keep them moving towards their specific destination, here it is not good to show your financial powers in the family home management but direct towards the family financial needs for the harmony of family co-existence. When directing finances well; will have a perfect balance in the home regarding any family domestic violence encroachment. This will yield a gift of new life as solutions will be reached on amicably.

Finance management in a home and homestead is gift you will use for the rest of your life and your love and faith cores and chores will rest on it for long time. The decisions you both make on financial management is like revolving pass on gift, where each is a beneficiary in equal shares and terms.

Chapter four

Philosophical writings,

Which can assist; in the face of home financial management.

One great thinker gave pieces of advice for a happy marriage as;

o   Love each other and accept your partner as the best.

o   Learn your partners’ weak and strong points; likes and dislikes.

o   Respect your partner; she/he will respect you, never neglect her/him.

o   Problems are part of life never yell at each other.

o   Advise your partner rather than criticizing.

o   Settle differences before you sleep.

o   Evaluate your friends and their advices.

o   Accept your mistakes and ask for forgiveness.

o   Remember to pray to God, He will solve all your problems.

Scott Hahn`s advice for husbands- In his Renewal Ministries June, 2004. Wrote;

         i.            ‘ I love you’ say it often, and with feeling,

       ii.            ‘Thank you’ be specific’ train yourself to see her strength, not weakness.

      iii.            I am sorry.

     iv.            Please forgive me.

       v.            Tell me about your day, and then make sure you are really listening.

     vi.            ‘How about a date’ gets reacquainted and spend quality time together.

It’s great to serve a wife

Most of the family problems have partly centered on mistrust arising out of money management. Though partners have followed the above guidelines as yard stick in day to day activities but families have separated. Thus families should take finances/money as part and partial of their family to have procedures laid down to follow while mending their long term relationship.

In the bird family/group there is an interesting bird called painted spipe. This bird is found in the Albertine rift. What is important is that the male painted spipes are very industrious birds; it does a bee hive of activities which include amongst others; building the nest, incubating eggs, searching for food and caring for the little ones and protecting them from predators. As human beings endowed with knowledge and thinking capacity of the highest degree, we need to pick a leaf from this bird species by being responsible at home, not giving women chances to suffer at our hands. Even the male painted bird does the chores, which do not take the maleness within it. We need to assist our partners at home and in home chores and plan for finances for the better today and tomorrow. Marriage is the building block of families as the community is intertwined. Keeping the marriage safe; through home finance accountability leads to clear community development. No matter how encouraging and discouraging the battle over marriage at whatever degree of boiling point, it’s the couples to solve it within themselves. We should love everybody and fight not each other, fight is groomed on being selfish, not showing enough accountability to your partner including Love, Finances and Care.

Vivid examples indicate that whenever the partner contributes together funds, one party brings in excuses for the expenditure misuse. One person named Masereka Jobson (aka), had a joint Bank Account with his madam-wife, time came and got loan on the joint account, the man withdrew the money from the account as there was provision that the husband was a principal signatory. After the withdrawing, the gentleman paid debts and had a fleet of fiancés, money ended there. This has been a basis for women to refute contributing together funds and prefer contributing physical development and home budget support.

Men too, say whenever women get funds, start sponsoring projects that are not tangible in the eyes of the man whose ongoing life is not ascertained. The project can either be at home or at her parent’s place where the man has no key hand. This too causes men not to understand the essence of contributing together.

Despite of the above, small percentage of men and women has contributed together their resources- finances and brain to develop their homes. Families without common language like that used in building the Babel tower will fail on simple issues yet mechanism to prosper is always in their hands not through scapegoat.  However, some have made it through general contributions.

There are been proverbs that would assist families to stay in harmony;

a)      If you look for the most beautiful you will never find one.

b)      Though one is too beauty, must miss at least one characteristic.

c)       You can live alone but one time, you will need a person intimate to scratch you.

d)      No man is an Island.

e)      A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.

f)       A wise person chooses the right road; fool takes the wrong one.

g)      You can identify fools just the way they walk down the street.

h)      Better to be criticized by a wise person than to be praised by a fool.

i)        Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out at common sense.

j)        Homes are made by man and woman, without one there is no home.

k)      Whoever abandons the right path will be severely disciplined, whoever hates correction will die.

l)        Nothing matters more than knowing Gods purpose for your life and nothing can compensate for not knowing them.

m)    Speak tenderly to them, let there be kindness in your face, eyes, smile…..

n)      Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.

o)      Alcohol when misused can bite like a snake.

p)      Focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life’s purpose.

q)      A soft voice is better than orders.

r)       You need to handle other well if you’re to get something good for the family.

s)       Faith trusts not what the eyes sees but what the word promises.

t)       In a ‘tug of war’ only the victors feel good afterwards; in a ‘tug of peace’ everyone wins.

u)      Life’s truest heroes never carve their names on marbled columns built for their acclaim; they build instead a legacy that springs from faithful service to your family and the king of kings.

v)      We can endure anything if we depend on God for everything.

w)    Never let the abundance of God’s gifts cause you to forget the giver.

x)      Stop showing mercy to others when God stops showing you.

Basing on the proverbs and the philosophical advices, let man and woman Iron out things that are immaterial that would affect the marriage, like money. Since law acts as guiding principles and the natural conscious are the major string to determine the well being of the family.

Law should not be the arbitrators all the time but digging the well being of the family is important, because the home is the first formal school for the children and copying wrong fund mismanagement would be bad, since one leaves a legacy even if one dies. The off springs you leave will always determine the dignity for the name left.

 

Imagine a family that leaves behind assets and the older children miss uses the assets at the expense of the young ones this calls a curse for the far father what type of grand children he,

/she left. We need to be careful in all our today’s dwellings as it has an impact on us in the future whether we are alive or dead. No one shall be a witness to wrong actions; all turn away their helping hand, so it’s only to those who are upright in action that shall get assistance whether financial or pieces of advice

Chapter five

Cultures’ role

What does different cultures have on the impact of finance management in homes, who is who when it comes to family planning.

Home finance management survey  carried out using random sampling of tribes according to their customs, characteristics, norms and beliefs in establishing who takes a big part/percentage in finance control;

Banandi; a tribe in Eastern Democratic Republic of Congo(DRC)- the couple sits together and together take part in planning process at an extent of 90%.

Langi; tribe in Eastern Uganda; the man is supposed to be in charge of finances, even when the woman sells produce, the man should be given the sales/revenue. It is rated that the man controls 80% after agreeing on all domestic affairs.

Basongora; tribe in western Uganda; when income is received, a small percentage is left to the woman to take charge for established home activities; both are responsible at equal levels and involvement.

Bakonzo; tribe in western Uganda, the man has more say in family development, the woman is involved but not much, the man may dictate development. Women and man participation in the planning process is rated at 60%.

Acholi; tribe in Northern Uganda, after sale of home produce/earning income the family comes together and plan for the fruits how it will be used- elder son/daughter is also included in the planning.

Bafumbira; tribe South Western Uganda, the man plans for the family for all resources, by default knows what to buy for what the family will take, this was years ago, nowadays they plan together-have participatory involvement.

The survey indicated that almost couples are to agree to plan for the income received whether basing on culture or mutual understanding.

Then why have there been misunderstanding due to finances yet culture of many tribes stipulates guidelines?

This question is to ponder much, as a reader you have the answer, but life is made that man stays in harmony until death with the family. Leaving the world`s globalization, lust apart. As it has been the major cause of family breakages. It is important that the family plans together without taking into account the culture strings of the tribe. Since the couples may also not be of the same culture.

We should not use ignorance to manage our homes, there is crass ignorance – intended lack of knowledge, and here we intend to ignore the home management affairs which are a cult in the home financial management. Culture should not blind us we should practice humanity in homes other than being men to show our powers and prowess. Therefore ignorance will be brewed if we spear headed cultural strings. We should have positive people friendliness to achieve positive pieces of advice in relation to home finance management.

Chapter six

Different kinds of love mentioned in the bible, and what is the lesson therein?

Before that, let us take love as a fish swimming in deep waters, it has a head, fins and tail. The fins of the fish are mutual respect, meaning that I respect you and you respect me, because they propel at ago, at the same speed to ensure that the fish moves its stability, likewise like a home. The fins also play the role of trust, since it accepts the signals from its pair. Trust means we do not lie to each other and we know that we will always support each other when need arises depending which side and direction the support will go. If there is no mutual respect there is no love, no trust no love that fish will not swim in the waters.

 The tail of the fish is equality; one person should not dominate or take charge over the other. Couples who love each other equally and fairly become models in the area and in life.

The head, the head directs the fish in the waters to against all odds that is what is expected in the family life as money matters comes in. the head which it relies for direction and decision making. The head is made of shared values, like our commitment to God and the things we believe in and endowed to us. If the shared values come into conflict the family will break and violence will be the chief guest.

The Greek  language in which the New Testament was written uses several words translated “LOVE” the first two listed below are found in the New Testament. On the United Church of God website- www.GNmagazine.org

Understanding their meanings helps better comprehend God’s expectations of us. Agapao (verb) is a special word representing the divine love of God toward His son, human beings in general and believers. It is also used to depict the outwardly focused love God expects believers to have for one another.

Agapao(including its noun form agape) is the characteristic word of Christianity and since the spirit of revelation has used it to express ideals previously unknown, inquiry into its use, whether in Greek literature or in Septuagint ,throws but little light upon its distinctive meaning. The special type of Christian love, whether exercised toward the brethren or toward men generally, is not an impulse from the feelings, it does not always run with the natural inclinations, nor does it spend itself upon those for whom some affinity is discovered.

Reflecting the fact that human marriage is modeled after the Devine relationship between Christ and the church, husbands are told to love their wives with this kind of outgoing, selfless love.

 Ephesians 5:25; 31-32.

Therefore, if one loves indeed the partner bringing together their finances and plan exclusively on mutual understanding is health. How could one say I love you indeed, when it comes to finances and planning- the Ideology is totally different and divergent????

We ought to show commitment in all we do including finances as vows are made in marriage ceremonial functions. Though, it may be customary marriage, customs guide- it has no room for future separations.

The kind of love is perhaps best expressed in Jesus Christ`s statement in John 15:13, Great Love (agape) has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. Jesus himself perfectly exemplified this kind of love throughout His lifetime, continually giving of himself and his time and energies to serve others and ultimately offering up His life as a sacrifice for all of humanity. God wants each of us to exemplify in our lives and particularly in our marriages.

Phileo (verb) means to have ardent affection and feeling- a type of impulse love, this is the natural, human type of love and affection that we have for a friend and is often defined as brotherly love. In showing brotherly love, need to share the sweat equity of each to have a home /family built of good foundation. As Jesus said; “a house built on rock will last long the wind will not blow it off” the couples should be players in home development other than having players and spectators. Marriage relationship should be dubbed as friendship- once that dogma is inculcated it is easy to cooperate, as the Ten Commandments are summarized;

-          You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with your entire mind.

-          Love your friend as you do to yourself

This quickens the mending speed of family relationships when it’s attacked and tested by the evil Lucifer.

It includes; respect differences of your husband/wife, since God created human beings with a broad range of personalities, we need to learn and appreciate those different perspectives. Even the steps we take to fulfill Gods instructions can vary from person to person, so it is possible with finances. St Paul’s letter to Peter, the principle instruction to husbands, is to dwell with their wives with understanding (1 Peter 3:7).

Seek win-win solution; whenever possible look for solutions to problems that is acceptable to both parties for solutions to problems that are acceptable to both parties (Philippians 2:4). If possible have two winners rather than winner and loser, we must at times be willing to yield as long as a choice or action is not in conflict with God’s instructions. Let each of you look out not only for own interests but also for the interest of others. Forgiving is important, everyone makes mistakes, forgive so that God and your spouse will be inclined to forgive each other whenever blunders strike Jesus said forgive seventy seven times seven a day.

When a husband treats his wife and family in a loving and kind way, a wife is strongly influenced to respond with affection and physical intimacy. God intends couples to work, live and grow in harmony, instead of waging wars. Yet finances have been ranked amongst the causes of family breakages due to associated nap effects. Giving financial plans to each other is important.

Chapter Seven

What does the Law say?

Chapter 22 of The Treaty  for the establishment of the East African Community; states “woman make a significant contribution towards process of socio economic transformation and sustainable growth and that  meaning that it is impossible to implement effective programs for development without full participation of woman. Partner states are obliged to;

      Promote empowerment and effective integration and participation of women at all levels of socio economic development especially in decision making.

      Abolish legislation and discourage customs that are discriminatory against women.

      Promote effective education awareness programs aimed at changing negative attitudes towards women;

      Create or adopt technologies which will ensure the stability of employment and professional progress for women workers and

      Take other measures to eliminate prejudices against women and promote the equality of female gender with that of the male gender in every aspect.

According to the the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights;

A right is a freedom of some kind. It is something to which you are entitled. Human rights, however, are the right to which everyone is entitled- no matter whom they are or where they live- simply because they are human being. The basic rights and freedoms, to which all human beings are entitled, often held to include the rights to life and liberty, freedom of thought and expression, and equality before the law. The thirty universal declarations of human rights include;

        I.            We are all born free and equal

      II.            Don’t discriminate

    III.            The right to life

    IV.            No slavery

      V.            No torture

    VI.            You have rights no matter where you are

  VII.            We are all equal before the law

VIII.            Your human rights are protected by law

    IX.            No unfair detainment

      X.            The right to trial

    XI.            We are always innocent until proven guilty

  XII.            The right to privacy

XIII.            Freedom to move

XIV.            The right to seek a safe place to live

  XV.            Right to a Nationality

XVI.            Marriage and family

XVII.            The right to your own things

XVIII.            Freedom of thought

XIX.            Freedom of expression

  XX.            The right to public assembly

XXI.            The right to democracy

XXII.            Social security

XXIII.            Workers rights

XXIV.            The right to play

XXV.            Food and shelter for all

XXVI.            The right to education

XXVII.            Copy right

XXVIII.            A free and fair world

XXIX.            Responsibility

XXX.            No one can take away your human rights.

The Uganda Constitution 1995, emphasizes and incorporates; The Treaty for the establishment of the East African Community and 1948 Universal Declaration of human rights.

Our concise must always bring in mind the guiding national and International laws regarding persons in our homes in catering for home financial management, in reference to Treaty women should be a center of decision making, therefore finances need decisions too, if your culture, custom or religion bars women participation, the law should allow you involve her for the benefit of the family.

The Universal Declaration encompasses that no one is above the other so co existence is enhanced properly. No one is above the other; we are all equal, let us mend our torn clothes with the size of needle and thread we can both hold together.

Uganda and South Africa are both members of the African Union need to meet certain Laws in common, In the Constitution of The Republic of South Africa ‘Section 39(2) provides the Bill of Rights, require Courts when interpreting any legislation to promote the Spirit, purport and objects of the Bill of Rights. Persons rights are widely catered for internationally so do not sit on your partners, rights in your home stead which is a small component; bring to table all matters of the family for both satisfactions.

Despite of all the laws, saying yes to your failures including finances is the key which opens the door to God, the father’s, heart. A stream of grace will flow down upon you to guide in finance reconciliation and forgiveness.

Chapter Eight.

What we can learn from other writers in their literature.

In The New People Magazine-Kenya no 134 September-October 2011, an article by Fr. Paulino Mondo- You and money [Money is a very controversial thing in life of the society. When used well, it can create friendship; but when used unwisely, it can cause disaster. I take the first step to analyze what money. The secret to effectively teach human persons but money starts before they are born. The money attracting aspect of your childhood is one area of pastoral ministry which is often forgotten when you decide to follow Jesus Christ. To be successful in teaching one’s self about money, you must decide what attitudes and beliefs you need to exhibit in order to raise yourself to be rich. Look at your beliefs at the moment about money. Do you see it as something which allows you to have fun and give nice things to yourself, your family, and others? Do you see it as an opportunity to do well in the world through donations and support of programs you believe in? Do you feel good when you think about it? Or, are your initial thoughts about negative aspects of it? Is the first thought when the word money is mentioned, one of your own lack of it- how you wish you had more- how you never have enough of it, how much you dislike writing cheques and paying debts? What are the thoughts you want to have about monetary resources? How do you think those thoughts or attitudes are going to be developed within you? If you want to have the thoughts you want to have about monetary resources? How do you think those thoughts or attitudes are going to be developed within you? If you want to have the thoughts which attract wealth, then you must first develop within you? If you want to have the thoughts which attract wealth, then you must first develop those thoughts about it, then you may want to consider improving your thoughts long before community overtakes you. Even if you are financially wealthy, you still may exhibit negative thoughts about your bank account, such as resentment of paying for taxes, resentment toward government programs, particularly in the area of social services and welfare. You may also resent the salaries and benefits you must pay in order to run your business and/or your home and family. Have you been trained how to think and use money? The preliminary step in controlling step in controlling your thoughts is to recognize what you are presently thinking. Pay attention to your emotional response to certain words. You may feel you have the right to feel negative about money, which, of course, you do. But those thoughts will only hurt you, while positive thoughts will help you to attract more of it and help your friends attract it. You have a choice to make now.

 Do you want to continue to feel as you presently do about money and perhaps, the people who make a great deal of it, or do you want to increase your chances of attracting it easily? If transformation is what you want, then you need to start constantly watching your thoughts. At first it may be a bit difficult, though mind boggling. As time goes on, you will form new habits which will be constructive for you]

Emphasis is money used wisely creates many opportunities that help family prosper; it should not derail one from family happiness.

[In The Daily Monitor-Uganda; October 28, 2011 (Eugene Mugisha)- [old men who act like they are teenagers. It is common knowledge that we all do not grow up at the same rate. Or, to be more exact, not all of us mature at the same rate. But past a certain age, we are at least expected to have learnt some things and yeah, expected to have stopped doing certain things. When a man who old enough to have daughters at University starts acting like he just reached puberty, there is a real problem. Even the statements men never grow up, but are big babies hardly saves them. Having taken some time without hanging out, I was not really expecting what I found in certain bar in Ntinda. See, there was a fair representation of all ages. And I am not talking about a certain age range; every age was represented, at least those that could walk. There were the children who should have been in bed ages ago range; the guys who should be home with their wives, helping look after the baby, all through to those men who should have been in bed ages ages ago, trying to warm their arthritic bones. One particular man caught my interest; he was about 55 years old, in jeans and a T-shirt. Seated, you could not notice his potbelly, but when a popular song came on; he jumped up and started waving his arms in the air, like how they do music videos. It was a hippo song, very recently by the reaction of the crowd. Like a teenager, he lifted his glass in the air and kept ‘bobbing’ up and down. That is when I noticed his low-hung jeans, his bling bling, and ka-girl. At most, she was 22 years old, and at least for her, she was acting her age. Shaking my head in amazement, I forgot about them. But about an hour later, I got to meet him. A girl I knew happened to know the man’s ka-girl, and she insisted that we go join them. Her mission was free drinks, and the guy certainly buying them. Out of curiosity, more than the loves for free drinks, (which is what Ugandans are known for). I agreed and we headed over to the other table. I bumped fists with the guy, and sat down to enjoy the first of what was to be an endless stream of drinks. And I tried to talk sense with the guy, I mean we were the only two adults at the table, it was logical that we talk some sense. But he wanted to talk about recent music, and every once in a while, he would scream when a popular song came on.

 I gave up after he told me does not really care about the value of the shilling against the dollar, and turned to his little girl. He introduced her to me as his babe and I wondered if he was referring to ‘babe’, the actual baby since she was that young anyway, or the slang he was using. The way he kept groping the little girl, was all too much for me. Then finally, he suggested we do something crazy. Immediately, my alarms went off; the last time anyone suggested we do something crazy. I had ended up with the mother of all hangovers. I do not really want to hear what this guy had in mind, so excusing myself, I returned to my former table. About 10 minutes later, he was standing on top of the table dancing to the cheers of his little group. That is when I felt ashamed, I do not know if I was ashamed to be an adult.]

When you accumulate money it should not make you behave like young ones, it should not affect your natural characters.

We should support and protect the uniqueness of marriage, for the good of our living in the society. Marriage should be between one man and one woman to control other problems related to polygamy. Marriage cannot be redefined because it is not a human invention but an institution ordained by the Almighty GOD for the good of all human kind. The understanding of marriage is at the heart of family life, good for our living.

In The New Vision October 25, 2011-Uganda [How to handle family labour, adapted from the Farming as a Business, self- Assesment Manual.most farmers depend on family labour for their needs. However, this turns out to be their biggest undoing. Using family labor to run a farm is always a big challenge. In many cases, family members tend to be less serious at carrying out many of the tasks on the farm. Under the circumstances, therefore, farmers make losses due to unaccomplished tasks. How to handle family labor - most farms develop as family farms, with active participation of family members. In order to run your farm as business, all employees must be treated as employees.

§  Create clear guidelines and rules for everybody inclusive of family members the same way you do for others.

§  Family members must understand the nature and urgency of the work on the farm possess the required skills for particular jobs and ensure that work is completed on time.

§  Remember that agricultural labor is a continuous flow of input and cannot be stored. It should be used when available because when it is not used, it is lost. Make sure that everybody does their allocated tasks on time.

§  You may want to hire unskilled labor, but in the long run , unskilled labor is expensive. The essence of hiring labor is not only to have work done efficiently. It should be done with minimal supervision such that there is more free time in creative planning, innovation and resource mobilization.

§  In any enterprise, conflict is likely to arise when individuals work together. However, make sure that there is harmony among all the workers. Harmony is created by timely communication to all workers.

§  To avoid financial conflicts, inform family members that personal family earnings are different from farm earnings. This will stop the tendency of family members who force other employees to give them farm funds for personal use.]

When in business you need to separate business from home affairs and treat the family work equally in payments whether using which rate of remuneration.

Chapter nine

Resolving family conflict where money is in the center;

There is no ground rules agreed upon to solve problems, definitely harmonious principles that keeps home intact are the most expected. Fair family problem solving should have regard to family relationship. The purpose of solving problems has long term effect to the family. George Bach and Peter Wyden in their book; ‘The Intimate Enemy; how to fight fair in love and marriage, said neither partner can win unless both win.

Regard should be that, only the couples can solve their family problems before meeting a mediator. It should be (meeting third parties) when all have really failed to accomplish all avenues to solve the problem.

Create trust through following what you promise to do, be as open and honest as possible, give and accept feed backs and show confidentiality, these are vital tactics to use when maintaining relationship in a home. Everyone has a role to play and equal contributor to the overall financial challenges for which the end result is of great value.

If the problem are finances, need is to sort out items spend that have made the other party aggrieved, and then allow the other to explain the cause of including them in the expenditure list. Mostly the communication process is very important, where there is listening, encoding as the process goes, let one person talk and explain the problem indicating the areas of dissatisfaction. The other party should ponder and answer later and if the other party’s temper is conversationally cooler the lower you talk like moving into a valley, it is advisable to opt to give your response the day after, other than giving questions for questions instead of giving answers

Brainstorming possible solutions is vital other than trading accusations that the other day you also wasted such amount of money. This will not work positively and will increase the flare possibly, one partner may keep it then you assume the problem is over but it continues under cover, traditionally-there is no smoke without fire, one said due to technological advancement there can be fire without smoke using scientific burning methods, due to globalization- a partner can opt wiring money using electronic fund transfer where no traces may not easily be got. The major issue should be that money problem is solved not to be the family hump for development.

Evaluate the solutions, solutions need evaluations according to the expected outcome, this should have relationship with the family scale of preference. If solutions are not both evaluated it will be like building castles in the air. Action is needed for each solution and time frame is crucial.

Consensus of both partners will be effective to have money problem solved. The sources of funding and spending are born in mind of both parties. Something that has twin relationship with the actors remains in the minds forever. That is why having consensus without duress is act of mending relationship.

Reviewing and reevaluating is a major component, this will assist how far the journey is. Money matters are not solved in a single moment, detecting areas that were not agreed upon is a healthy olive leaf to carry all long in the family relationship.

In Uganda’s Nation Anthem, the first stanza is ‘Oh Uganda May God uphold thee, we lay our future in the hands, united, free for liberty. Together we will always stand” it was composed by Kakoma. Emphasis is too on- together we will stand, we not I meaning we need each other to forge a head, do not say am the only source of bread, my partner is not part of my financial problems or each one has his/her pay therefore the wallet is mine, whichever I need is enough, this in certain circumstance is wrong. Let us work together.

Uganda’s school prayer is- Look at me oh God, as my heart silent all to you all I turn for these sins I have been good I pray to be encouraged, for under your guidance oh God where all is peace I will be led not to sob but to rejoice as my hand in yours lies. Here you will stress that God need to be amidst all the discussions, accepting the sins for peace to have the family stay. God plays an invisible role when we pray to Him, giving our problems to him.

The family that will not be united will fall apart while the rest are progressing this will affect your own generation for time that they will keep cursing you thou your dead.

A family that prays together stays together- this was put forward by the Holy Cross Missionary Congregation, to unite families through praying the Catholic Rosary. As the family prays together, they will plan together and finance problem will be a dream. Thus the family will be strong in all ways.

The Uganda Episcopal Conference has its motto ‘with one heart’ and their prayer is as follows;

God of peace, we take refuge in you. Behold our family here, listen to our prayer and grant us your perfect peace protection. Every act of violence and fighting in our family, our home and our community destroys your reign of love and peace. Strengthen in me a renewed sense of respect, love and forgiveness for all my family and friends, my neighbors, my community and all life that you have created. Pour love and peace into my heart and grant me the vision to recognize your spirit in everyone around me, in all times and in all places. Help me to love others as you love us. May all glory be to you our Lord and God, whose power of the Holy Spirit working in us can do more than we can ask and imagine- An Advent family Prayer.

As in the motto- with one heart- generally is specific from the bosom of the heart, in the prayer; peace and harmony begins with me and with my family. If I go behind my family on financial matters, the chief guest of honor invited is chaos other than peace, domestic violence which is not a pillar of home management is given a resting place.

When trying to find solution for financial problems establish communication channels and decide on joint projects. It is important to keep flexibility and understanding at the heart of your relationship.

In most organizations, there are organization structures where the hierarchy is very important but in homes this may not be applicable, here consensus and mind reading plays the major role.

Children should have their say; even the children’s statute mandates it. Involving the children will yield some contributions; some partners may give respect to their sons/daughters which amounts to good relationship that would fall apart due to financial crutches.

While going global take the culture that will suite your relationship, do not just copy culture that will reign your home. Since different culture and characteristics are detrimental to homes.

Have trust and togetherness; apply skills that each one poses thereafter cooperate. This will give way to look at your problems.

Break down the walls that divide the financial management in a home like alcoholism, since they will stretch the home budget much, giving the relationship a line of weakness with results of domestic violence.

Equity, mutuality is tantamount in matters home finances, with equity all members’ views be given due consideration for achieving the family stand. This will give lasting impact.

Get to know each other, studying ones mood is important, sometimes the partner may not be in mood to give constructive responses, imagine a partner is from a long journey before he/she sits, you confront with your problems, what could be the response!

Motives and readiness for partnership in areas where finances are likely to break the family relationship is very crucial.

Once there is financial misunderstanding, violence enters without knocking. Which affects the family entirely- plus even the tamed animals? Because the animals will not be served equitably since gloomy will be the new face decoration. When there is violence, third parties will come in the control process where you had failed which is not good at all.

According to The Domestic Bill,2009 supplement no.4; the object of the Bill is to provide for the protection and relief to victims of domestic violence, to provide for the punishment of perpetrators of domestic violence, provide for the procedure and guidelines to be followed by the court in relation to protection and compensation of victims of domestic violence, provide for the jurisdiction of courts including the issue of protection orders made by court, provide for the handling of domestic violence cases by the family and children court and related matters.

The Bill provides for control of domestic violence and in the second schedule, there are principles for determining compensation, courts shall take into considerations of;

a)      The cost of medical treatment for the injuries suffered by the victim.

b)      Any loss of earnings arising from the domestic violence.

c)       The amount or value of the property taken, destroyed or damaged.

d)      The necessary and reasonable expenses incurred by or on behalf of the applicant, where the applicant is compelled to separate or to separate from the perpetrators due to domestic violence including accommodation, transport and meals costs.

Costs that will be incurred by the partner affects home development, create enmity and likely to lead to loss of lives for either party. Therefore controlling the finances in a home at early stages saves very many things like life and privacy. It is every body’s duty to play the role in the struggle against domestic violence due to financial management and in whichever form in a home. Do not leave your neighbor’s house burning, next time it will be yours.

There should be no discrimination, admission and participation in activities at home regarding finance planning, administration and disbursement, since the commitment of home finance management allows more action on resource mobilization and utilization and making hard decisions to increase the home income basket.

Bench making- you copy slowly the successful couples who have managed their families on financial programs, it does not mean a lot of money to manage, but even a coin can spark problems. This will be through established net work purposely for the gathering and sharing information on home finance management.

Identifying the constraints you encountered in the previous years during home financial management is vital. You will need to note why you did not attain some items in your budget then identify means to overcome them together. This will give the partner morale to contribute when consulted on financial management matters. Have to make on sport decision making on crucial financial matters in a home , once financial matters are delayed it can create a big problem that may not be reversed.

Flow of information in the family is good as blood flows in the veins; keep the partner updated on all matters including finance. When one is on the lee ward side of the finance functionaries there erupts the financial problem. Honoring the promise made in the matrimonial vows and those made at home is needed. When you do not full fill the promise vows, then there is suspicion created.

Be able to control the financial problem when it goes beyond bearable. Give the completeness of the expenditure and always be consistent in the cash resources how it was received and spent. When you jump items like income from rent, sale of produce and start stammering then fire comes out- for no big reason yet the things are self explanatory. When some financial management was delegated to children need to respect their. As who acts through others acts himself, this will yield financial discipline in the accountability and sense of ownership of the family projects, they won t be strangers.

Need to be conflict tolerant, when one loses his/her temper please act slowly, since our hormones act differently to the environment.

Openness and transparency; in supporting the National and local efforts to develop and communicate home financial management violence, prevention and care.

In the Quran 17:82 ‘And we sent down in the Quran that which is healing and a mercy to those who believe; to the unjust it causes nothing but loss after loss.

There is no profit whatsoever in disagreement on money matters, only inviting chaos all the straight line. Be open and honest in all dealings especially finances in the home.

Bishop Robert Mary Gay, in his message during fare well back to Canada in 2011, who came to Uganda on 9^th October,1962 said; ‘Priests are constantly called to review their own priestly life’ therefore as couples, we need as must to review our relationship with God and with each partner. That is the time to solve money equation simultaneously. Money should not be precipitate on the brine we are to use to prepare our daily meals. It’s said when salt loses its taste then it’s useless.

When ones family goes astray, the dignity created for years is washed away in single seconds, let us bring finances together, and account for it together no matter the amount and source.

No doubt all couples should wrestle in prayer over financial gains and related problems in a family.

In the prayer of the Uganda Orthodox Church, during the Inter-Religious Council of Uganda on the 2^nd Consultative Assembly, September, 2011 “Great are you Lord God and wonderous are your works and no word will suffice to hymn your wonders. You have brought all things of nothing and your power sustains all creation. We pray for the rich and controllers of this world who pretend to create wealth out of nothing by creating credit which is not backed by real wealth, who have done atrocities against your people for a long time. We pray for everything to have a limit; for the actions which have backfired on them and on the poor, the disadvantaged and the innocent. We pray for the debt burden which is on the shoulder of the weak and frail. Your people are no longer one; they are fragmented by love of money, wealth and quick gains and returns, contrary to unity the unity and oneness of our society. We pray that our Government reduce our national debts, prime lending rate and rampant corruption. Help the businessmen to desist from exploiting their clients through high profit margins. We ask you to bring back to us the common sense which is lost, at this moment, when our human wisdom has us towards resisting those in power through rioting, self-destruction and nihilism such as suicide bombings. Help us to live within our means and avoid unnecessary expenditures. Help us, compassionate God to resist the spirit of over-surpassing others in the spirit of progress and prosperity. Help us to learn to prioritize our expenditure by paying more attention to meeting our basic and most urgent needs such as feeding our young ones with proper nutrition and paying school fees as opposed to daily drinking or over-dressing. We ask you to teach us to save for days ahead and contribute to your noble cause. We pray that all people will come to understand and know you, and the purpose of your creation, thus together we may proclaim your benevolence and allow your Holy Spirit to operate in us and all of creation which was subjected to corruption by fall of the protoplasm. In union with St.Paul, let us consider the present time as not…..…worthy to be compared to the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest of expectation of creation eagerly waits for the revealing of sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God..(Romans 8, 18-25). For to you belong all Glory, honor and worship, to the father and the son, and the Holy Spirit, now and for evermore”

The prayer is self explanatory on how possible you would minimize and control finance management in the home without for the ado, on a single step- your people are no longer one; they are fragmented by love of money, money has distorted relationships when love for money is put first the family is second, problems arise which we must look at with keen eye. Living within our means to avoid unnecessary expenditure, when expenditure is is higher than income or equivalent to income then the home is at the verge of failing. The expenditure need to be within the means that supports the entire family. The prayer teach to save for the days ahead, when expenditure is not cut the savings is no achieved.

Let us guard ourselves against the danger of unnecessary expenditure which divide us we should bear that God is present in every living creature-man/woman regardless of tribe and region. So dear God strengthen our faith to enable us use common sense and wise planning and control in allocating the resources you entrusted to us to our cost centers and units that feed our granaries.

Came back situation, if you have been in home money management trap, and then follow God’s instructions, you will get your home life order back. even the Israelites who had gone off into seventy years in captivity- God told them; then you will call upon Me and go and pray to me, and I will listen to you , and you will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart(Jeremiah 29:12-13). Personal dedication to God; when problems knock without invitation is needed.

Each of us needs to absolutely obey the other partner and zealously serving the family and prove that we are servants of God and each other. Need to be part of that little flock that have kept money aside their home problems, like in Uganda which has had many presidents each time a new president takes power, new currencies are printed and the former devalued, compare how many regimes Uganda has had, does it affect home management? These are worldly things that should not separate us.

Money is a frequent source of conflict and confusion in marriage relationship. While it can bring great happiness and opportunities, marriage can also bring stress and strain if couples do not approach their finances and priorities realistically. Working as partners is important to family success on money element. Lord, help us to know that the key to honoring you with finances is remembering that our money is not ours. You own it all and give it to us as you please. Teach us to put you first, so each step thereafter is made easier.

The destruction of man lies in his stomach, lust, and tongue. These erode much the home management and other areas, what the tongue has spoken will not easily be erased. The tongue should be manageable tool in home financial matters.

Knowledge is of lay level, formal level and meta-science level. If you have both you need to integrate them and apply all skills, do practice to manage the home affairs. If your partner’s knowledge is of one level do not undermine- incorporate it too and bring results for the best outcome.

Take the science of the human heart, it has two major sides, the left ventricle and the right ventricle, the blood in each side do not meet because one carries oxygenated and another deoxygenated blood. But all in all the heart pumps the blood to support the human body functions. Though you may have differences in the family financial management, cooperation is needed to have the family/home stand. A home in smoke of financial violence is not a home since it can fall apart any time.

Talk to your partner on finances when she/he is not tired or busy. As couples spend the day working home chores and office work. One may not give attention when busy and tired. Give ample time for resting and disclose your matter later. You will get positive response.

Accept your partner regardless of his/her status, skills and behavior, communicate firmly and respectful giving due consideration to the response regarding financial management.

With money, if you spend it all in one place/time, you will not have enough left when you need it, remember money’s characteristic is that it must be scarce so once you have got something plan it together with your partner.

When on earth expect trials, the land of joy is only in heaven after working for it, so while managing the home expect trials, formulate steps to overcome them, it is not divorce to solve the marriage problem. Whether divorce is due to failure in finance management, adultery the title remains Divorce. Even the great man Biblical Moses- the anointed one was heeding to the counsel from elders. He got advice from the father in law Jethro when he got challenges in his daily duties, so consult the elders and other experienced personalities as Moses did.

Arouse in the hearts of those who call you father a hunger and thirst for social justice and for fraternal charity in deed and in truth. Grant O Lord, peace in our days; peace to souls, peace in families, peace to our country, and peace among nations. We ask this in your name, Lord our God. C

About the Author;

By Sunday Alozious (old time classmate and friend)

Bitwamba Asiimwe Peter, was born in 1972, has BBA, Bachelor of Business Administration-Accounting and other Diplomas and Certificates. His married with 5 children

During his primary level, he was the debate secretary and this exposed him to writing, developing the habit of writing chits for chats. During his studies he submitted a project proposal to Makerere University Kampala and dissertation to Mbarara University of Science and Technology for Certificates and Degrees for Business Administration respectively. Coupled with the above and the art of reading culture groomed him to come up with this book; after writing his academic books -wrote the book; The Bakiira Family ;which traced his linage right from Congo.

The face of home financial management book is good especially, to couples, where money tends be an obstacle in their day to day life.